the lowdown

Jul 21, 2011

You are ALL amazing, precious people to me. Seriously.

Thank you so much for the overwhelmingly sweet comments on my post Monday. And after finally telling everyone on my blog and on Facebook, it's feels REAL. And I'm freaking excited! :)

Before I get back into my regular posts though, I'm gonna get a tad serious up in here. Do y'all mind? I just want to share something that's been weighing heavily on me since I announced the news...

There are a lot of judgemental people out there.

And this sad fact makes me sick to my stomach and flat out ANGRY.

No, Ronnie and I are not married. Yes, this pregnancy was a surprise.

But that is no reason to think we don't deserve this baby. And it's no reason to constantly say that we better hurry up and get married now! Because there will NOT be a shotgun wedding, thank you very much. We have our reasons to still wait on marriage and we're totally fine with it!

My office has not acted excited about it (their beliefs aren't liking the unmarried thing either) and have not been treating me the way they've treated other preggos. We're a small office so I feel it. I feel how my boss has started ignoring me and making things so hard on me that I just KNOW he is trying to push me out of here. It's not a good time.

To add to it, I've been feeling SO much guilt because I know so many of my IRL friends (and even some of you) have been trying so hard for a baby and it hasn't happened yet. This breaks my heart and it makes me feel guilty that even though we weren't planning this, it still happened. Then, those same girls that have always been upset when others get pregnant, are now upset with me. Not even a "Congratulations" on Facebook or an e-mail. They're completely ignoring me now. But I know they're hurting and just hope they can find it in themselves to just be happy for others because I seriously do pray that everyone who wants to be a mom, will be. I know their time will come!

So if you've made it this far - thank you. I'm sorry for getting so real on y'all but I had to say it.

Ronnie and I have been over the moon about this baby but it feels like everyone around us is trying to make it stressful. And I'm normally not a praying person but I'm starting to change my tune. I just need to find some peace and learn to focus on the fact that it's just me, my fiance and our baby in this and as long as I have them, that's plenty happiness.

Thanks again for being there. I'm so grateful for you wonderful blog friends and the IRL friends/family that ARE excited for us. Because you know what? I am ALWAYS happy for others when something good comes their way...and that's the way it should be, right? Can't we all just get along?! :p

So next post - how I found out, how I told Ronnie and other HAPPY details... No more seriousness, y'all ;) xoxo


amy said...

I am sooooooo happy for you!! I can't wait to hear how you found out and how you told Ronnie!!

Again...CONGRATS!!!!!!! :)

Tricia said...

I have no idea how I missed your first post, I guess I was running around too much to check my blogs and never caught all the way up!
I can't wait to read about your journey through pregnancy. This is gonna be awesome!

gin said...

Congratulations! This is a very happy time and I so hope you enjoy this time.

Living in the same city as you, I know the social climate when it comes to being pregnant and unmarried and it's very unfortunate, and very backward. However, when it comes to your office situation, you have rights. Treating you differently because you are pregnant and unmarried is called discrimination and if it gets to a point you can not tolerate, you have the option of legal aid.

I am excited to hear the happy details and I hope all this negative stuff blows over quickly.

Congrats again. Take care of yourself.

[SMASH] said...

Sorry to hear you've had judgment placed upon you for this. This happens all the time and if you two are happy about it, that's all that matters. Keep that negativity out as much as you can and focus on your growing family. :) Excited to hear about how you told Ronnie!

Chloe said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this!!
It's not fair!
Jealous and judgemental people do so much harm!
I'm really sorry!
You deserve to be happy and enjoy your pregnancy with Ronnie :)

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

I'm so sorry! That's no OK that you boss is acting the way he is. Keep your head up! It's your life and you two will be amazing parents. I've only discovered your blog recently but I can tell you are a good person with a warm heart and that's all that matters.

As far as others being upset that they haven't been able to get pregnant, it's unfortunate for them. It's understandable to feel for them, but don't feel guilty. This is your time to be happy ♥

Sorry for the novel comment hehe!

Lovin a Farm Boy said...

I'm sorry your news didn't get the positive responses it deserves! Hopefully your office will come around. Glad to hear you're becoming a praying person. :) If you are 1/2 the worrier that I am, it will really help!

Lauren H. Edmondson said...

Don't you worry what other people think. A baby is a miracle no matter what! And don't you dare feel guilty either. A girl from my hometown lost a baby not long before I announced I was pregnant and said some really mean things about me just because I got pregnant - this just reflects badly on her not me. So, like I said don't feel guilty, this is YOUR blessing and god has a reason for giving babies to some and not to others!

Jean said...

Yes. I agree w/ most of the girls here! I mean, they're upset b/c you are having a baby & not being married? I mean, if they want to be technical, isn't it bad to be living together & being unmarried? Pshhh. Welcome to the New World and most importantly, YOUR WORLD!

If you worry too much about how happy other people are, you have no time to make happiness for yourself.
I mean, if I wanted to be better than everyone around me... I have to have my PHD, own a billion dollar home, own a yacht, and a ten car garage, and each car worth a minimum or $300,000, n then some... but being jealous and angry takes too much work out of me and I can put all that work elsewhere.

MISERY NEEDS COMPANY! Some people can't stand to see you happy, be happy anyway. In the end, it's YOUR LIFE! You run the show!

I am so happy for you guys! It's going to be a fun and sometimes challenging step. You guys will get through it together, as a family! :) After all, a family that plays together stays together. I can't wait to read how you found out! :) :) You are going to be a great mom! I know you will! And all the negativity, go in one ear, out the other.

I hear it a lot, too. After all, I am first born generation dating out the race.. that was harsh enough and the harsh words.. what did I do, just sit and smile because I don't care what they say, I'm truly happy because if I wasn't, I wouldn't be here.

Alright, have a good day & hope u had fun reading my short story :D

Talia said...

It saddens me that people can't be happy for you and this wonderful baby you and your fiance have been blessed with. And the fact that your doc said you had a very little chance of ever getting pregnant shows this is a miracle. So why NOT be thrilled? I'm very happy to see the support you're receiving on here because you deserve it. You don't deserve to be brought down. We're all here for you. :)

Oh, and....


I can't wait to hear all the exciting details. :)

Mrs. W. said...

Try not to let it get you down. I can't imagine being treated differently at work though, that sucks!

Congrats again!

Jessica said...

That is just terrible. People can be so cruel. I am beyond excited for you and Ronnie! You are going to be great parents! Don't worry what other people think. As long as you two are happy, that's all that matter! Congratulations, again Jessica!


Anonymous said...

Congrats! I just finally got around to reading the news!!! Keep your chin up it was meant to be.

Mrs. Lopez said...

I'm so sorry so many people are treating you that way especially your coworkers. All that matters is you and Ronnie are happy and I believe everything happens for a reason. It was meant to happen this way! Keep your chin up!

Susan said...

I am so sorry that people are being so judgmental. But it sounds like you know what's important- you, Ronnie, and the baby! I find that prayer helps me focus and feel real comfort and peace. I know you will be so very happy with this baby! So so wonderful. :)

Rachel said...

Oh my goodness! I haven't been able to look at many blogs recently so I have only just seen this...CONGRATULATIONS!

Sorry that some people are making this hard for you, hoping you can find peace and feel joyful!


Sarah @ Scissors and a Whisk said...

You know what? If you and Ronnie are happy then that's ALL that mattres. I've had my fair share of judgemental people (I can email you about it if you'd like to know more), and we are happy. Happier than I've been in a long time, so screw them. You don't need negative people in your life, ESPECIALLY right now. It is an extremely joyous time, and I'm so excited for y'all!

Amanda said...

Sorry you've come across some Negative Nellie's. You're a strong person though, hold your head up. Marriage is just a piece of paper.

Cole said...

I'm sorry that some people are such dumbasses!! A baby is a FABULOUS thing. As long as you and Ronnie are happy, that truly is all that matters. This baby will be loved and have to amazing parents!!

I can't wait to hear all about how you found out and how you told Ronnie. :-)

Miranda said...

Congratulations! :)

KSK said...

:( It sucks that people can't just be happy for you two! I don't know why, but I feel like you guys have been engaged and living together for a while (is that true? did you write that in a post somewhere?)... Which is like being married (at least newlyweds), just w/o the piece of paper!
And good for you for not speeding up your wedding date, just because you got pregnant! (And if you end up deciding to.. insurance purposes, etc... who cares?!)
It sucks that your friends that are having a hard time getting pregnant can't be happy for you, and perhaps even finding a little bit of hope in it?!
I guess you need to just take solace in your friends and family (and fellow bloggers) that ARE happy for you guys!
Try to be happy and as stress free as possible, and grow that little baby!! Baby needs you to be happy :)

I could rant on and on... but I'll stop now.. for your sake! :)

People shouldn't be angry about a miracle!!!
(And when Baby is here, they'll forget how they judged you and want to hold Baby!!!)
Okay. I'm done. For real.

Amanda said...

I am so sorry that people are being judgemental and that the people at your work aren't being supportive. They have no right to judge you. A family isn't made from a marriage, it's made from love, and this baby will clearly be loved.

While I am SUPER jealous of you, I am also even more happy and excited for you, and I can't wait to hear how you found out AND how you told Ronnie :) Congrats girl, you deserve this miracle!

Amber W said...

You don't have to explain yourself to anybody! :)

Kristen said...

I swear... people are just stupid, rude, obnoxious, and ignorant. It's 2011... we don't do things the way we did in the 1950's. Times are a'changin and people need to chill the RELAX. Not to mention it's YOUR life and you didn't ask for anyone's opinions!

Just keep focusing on your new family and the health of you and your cute lil fetus. And as for the douche B's, just kill them with kindness and prove their judgements wrong. You are going to be a great mommy!!!

Courtney said...

Well you know what, you absolutely deserve happiness no matter what order it comes in. Your life - your decision - your happiness :) Anyone that disagrees can go suck on something inappropriate! HAHA

Thank you for my congrats! How funny you'd like JR names ;)

Happy Friday! (All 3 of you!)

Dirt On The Rocks said...

hey hunny i'm so late on this but congratulations!! i think you're going to make a wonderful mother. screw what everyone else thinks you don't need any negativity in your life with the biggest blessing you'll ever have coming to you:)

to add other couples or families shouldn't be hard on you just because you're pregnant. we're all blessed at different times with different situations.

Anonymous said...



Amanda Roo said...

You know it did take me a moment to collect myself when I found out. It's just my issue not yours and I am very much happy for the both of you. Sometimes news just knocks the breath out of you but NEVER feel guilty for your blessings. Everything happens for a reason. This was meant to be. Love you friend!

Carolina said...

I'm so sorry I'm late to this party. I have been neglecting my Google Reader like the plague. Its slowly growing unread #'s are once again, making me uncomfortable. Ugh!

OH MY GOD. I have a little experience in dealing with people's unhappiness/disapproval of something that makes your own hear gleam with immense joy. I can imagine you're like me & this makes you so sad. But you know what? No one is gonna be there (except the ones who DO support you), when new lil' baby is here & you need all the help in the world. Those hateriffic people are idiots & they don't & shouldn't matter.

You just feel joy & remember that there are A LOT of people who are happy for you & are excited that you're so happy. I, being one of them :)

Fragancia said...

congrats girl!!!! im so happy for you! do update us about the later story! :) Great blog im your new follower i'd love if you follow back :)

Meg O. said...

Honey, I totally understand the part where you talked about friends not being so happy for you because they've tried so hard. Our baby was definitely not planned (I'm telling you- I took 2 weeks off my BC and got pregnant), but it's the greatest and most welcomed surprise in our life. I know that it hurts for others to hear about, but it's our happiness and we should be proud of it!

I think you are so mature for not rushing into a wedding just because you feel like you have to. I am proud of you for really sticking up for yourself.

Haters gonna hate, but all that matters is that you and Ronnie have a beautiful baby coming your way February!

Meg O. said...

AND! I agree with one of the above commenters - if the work situation gets worse, I definitely think you should hire an attorney to scare them. Not saying you have to sue them, just put a little fire up their butts. Just document everything now in case it has to go there (hopefully it doesn't)!


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