the time i cried over a half birthday

Aug 28, 2012

Six months ago today, I became a mom.

Some days I still can't believe that I've been given this precious child to take care of and love forever. I don't deserve her! Even all these months later I still have moments when I think to myself, she's MINE. I'm a MOM. She's my DAUGHTER.

Everyone told us time would fly by and I wish I could say they were exaggerating.

I'm a sentimental person normally but who knew how much worse it would be when I became a mom. Sometimes I really would like to curl up in bed and sob over just how quickly time is flying by. Who am I kidding here? I've done that a few times.

I cry out of happiness because I can see that we're doing our job (we're trying our best!!) and that she's learning and growing as she should be but I also cry because I'm mourning. I mourn the loss of the baby she was six months ago, a month ago, even just the day before. She changes so much each day and more heartbreaking, it's as if just this past weekend she grew and changed more than we've ever seen! The six month mark is a pretty big deal apparently. It's like we're dealing with a mature infant all of a sudden! ha

In my pre-baby life I felt like I was just going through the motions and Ronnie would get on me for not living in the moment more. Thank goodness I snapped out of it and can understand the magnitude of this time in our lives and how it won't always be this way because I really do cherish every snuggle, every sound and face made, every scent, and every little giggle. I can only imagine how fast her 1st birthday will get here and just typing that gives me the biggest lump in my throat.

Being a mom was never at the top of my life's to-do list but it happened and I'm so grateful it did. I wouldn't give up this life with my amazing fiance and our precious child for anything.

We love you so so much, tootie pie! Just cool it on the growing so fast thing ok? ;)

25 comments:

Amber said...

Aww happy half birthday V! She just keeps getting cuter and cuter!

Lauren said...

Happy half birthday to your sweet baby girl,she really does just keep getting cuter and cuter like Amber said :-)

Sara said...

Happy half birthday!! I wish I could say it gets easier....even now at 15 months I look at Mavkenzie and think, when did you get so big? Grow up? Learn this or that? Some days it makes me sad other days I'm so happy and excited because we must be doing a good job!
Oh and Mackenzie has those pants that Violet has on in her two month pic. :)

Christina said...

So sweet and I know just how you feel! I hate growing babies. And I cry just about every day for some random reason (99% of the time it's over good, happy, heartwarming stuff). I was not an emotional person before kids. They broke me. I'm a sap.

Cole said...

Happy half birthday, V! You are growing way too fast. Stop that, huh?! :-)

Vicki said...

Happy 1/2 birthday V! She is one precious little girl!!!

Faith said...

:)

This is such a sweet post. The best part is that she'll be able to read this one day!

Happy half year Birthday V!!

Faith said...

P.S. but hopefully not for a long while ;)

Ashlee Miller said...

Happy half birthday V!!! Can't believe how fast she has grown. I'm going to be the same way for my first!

Jean said...

my oh my. time does fly. she is a sweetheart. <3

Jessica said...

Awww!! She gets more adorable as she gets older!! You have the cutest family.

Betty said...

She is such an a cutie! Totally adorable!

Miranda said...

aw happy 6 month birthday! i know the feeling...wait till they turn 2!!! makes me shake my head every time i think about how old my baby is. she sure is adorable though!

Charlotte Manning said...

Awww happy half birthday to the cutie,
She's grown so quick, I still remember your announcement post when you were pregnant,

She gets more beautiful each picture you take.
And I'm sure she know what a great mommy she has :)

x x x

kjpugs said...

Tootie pie... I die. So cute. My SIL's son was born 6 months ago earlier this month, so he's about 3 weeks older or so. He changed my life, so I can't imagine how much he did for hers!!!!! They posted his 6 month photos yesterday and I joked it was pre-heating my ovaries hahaha. Violet is adorable, what a beautiful six months, can't wait to see as she grows more! So glad you are able to enjoy her and life and not just go through the motions, like you said. Babies are such a precious part of life!

Carissa said...

Okay so I am glad I wasnt the only one that was one ball of emotions on the 6th month birthday! Its like they turn into big kids at 6 months. She is too cute!!! You are such a great mommy...and I cant wait to see how Violet grows over the next couple of months!

Mrs. W. said...

Girl, I feel you. Ellie is 5 months today and I'm already freaking out that she'll be 6 months soon. It really does all fly by and I feel the same way you do - that each day she's a whole new baby and we never get that time back. Waaaaah!

I'm so glad you're appreciating every moment though. Your little girl is such a precious gift and she's very lucky to have you as her mama!

Amanda said...

OMG, I can't believe she is 6! months! I feel like you just had her. Hell I feel like you just announced your pregnancy on the blog. Crazy how fast time goes by. Fynn will be 2 months on Tuesday and I'm kinda freaking out!

Lauren H. Edmondson said...

aww happy half-b*day to Baby V, I hope she enjoyed her take-out food last night ;)

and I totally know what you mean about them growing so quick - Sawyer is about to hit 19 months and it feels insane. I cry every time I talk about him, so you're not alone haha.

legallymarried said...

I LOVE those pics - she is such a sweetheart! Congratulations on six beautiful, life-changing months!

legallymarried said...

Jessica - I just talked to you on Twitter (for my company) and told you that we had blogging in common. :) So, here's my URL.

legallymarried.wordpress.com

Trish said...

I think more than anything (even accidentally dropping the baby on his head) I'm dreading how fast everything is going to happen. I guess I better get to living in the moment too :)

Taylor Morgan said...

Kids ARE great :) I don't have any yet, but when the time comes, it'll be great to experience life all over again through their eyes... Especially Disneyland, haha.

xoxo,
Taylor

taylormorgandesign.blogspot.com

Simply Kelly Blog said...

She is so adorable. It's great you have this blog to document everything. What a cutie!

gina said...

What a sweet post! You're so right: live in the moment. Sweet V is a little cutie!

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