Take 3 nights ago - Please don't hate me, Brittany. I dreamed that she called me and was freaking out, sobbing, and told me she was pregnant with #2. She was saying stuff like I'm not ready for this, what am I gonna do?! And you know what I did? I laughed hysterically. Then proceeded to tell her to suck it up and deal with it. Then, THEN, I hung up on her. Como what?! I would NEVER do that in real life! I promise that if any of you were to get knocked up unexpectedly and needed a shoulder to cry on, I'd be there!
The next night, I dreamed that Ronnie and I had split up (what?!) and he was with some hoity toity woman who had him by the you-know-whats. Which is hilarious because that man is stubborn and isn't bossed around by anyone! ha. But this woman was somehow in control of him and had him convinced that I was an unfit mother and should fight for full custody of V. And he was totally for it! WTF?! I woke up irrationally upset and approached him about it as if this were real life. Of course his response was, "Sounds about right". Because he knows I'm crazy and that would never happen.
Ronnie: if you're reading, feel free to stop now. THEN, last night's dream. I was partying with the Jersey Shore crew because apparently I'm single and a douche bag now? So after we're done with the fist pumping, we all go to the Situation's MOM'S house to stay the night. And in total Jersey Shore fashion, The Situation sneaked into my room and tried to get fresh! I told him I was not attracted to him and he BEGGED. Like on his knees, begged. (Geez, how hot was I in this dream?). I finally had to physically push him out of the room and lock the door behind him. Another WTF!!? Funniest part is that while watching Catfish last night (LOVE that freaking show, by the way), I saw him in a preview and thought "Poor guy, he is really ugly.". But of course I went on to have a sex-ish dream about him. Gross.
In conclusion, No, I don't want/need a second baby right now. No, I don't want to leave Ronnie. And no, I especially don't want to hook up with the Situation. Why can't I dream about my future mansion or something? Or about being the lead singer of a ska band? (Yeah I said it. Lifelong dream right there ;)
Tell me your weirdest dreams!
14 comments:
hahahahahahahaha you are SO RUDE. i was in a moment of CRISIS AND YOU LAUGHED!!!! good god i hope you're not psychic...we'd be in that mental institution together.
and don't lie, you totally want to get it on with The Situation.
Thanks for a good laugh this afternoon, much needed! :) I hope you can start to dream about your future mansion as well! And the dreams you are having will be gone! Happy Tuesday!
LOL funniest blog post ive read this morning!!LOL note to self dont call you for support, i kid i bet ur really good at giving advice...awake!
come say hi, adayinthelifeofmektt.blogspot.com
Dont you worry doll about this crazy dreams it happen to all first time mommys.I was told this happens because we want everything to be perfect once our babes are born but that can't be cause life is not perfect.Just take your life slow and enjoy the momments doll.
Hope that helps.
~Jazmin
This is hilarious!! I had a dream two nights ago that I was a part of Val Kilmer's harem. Because having a harem was totally normal. ???
Bahahaha! Your dreams are just as weird as mine are!
ha, hilarious! wonder what a dream analyst would say causes a situation dream>?
Too funny, I have always had weird dreams my hubby thinks I'm crazy lol.
Hahaha OMG!! This is hilarious!! You have the craziest dreams! I don't dream or if I do I don't ever remember them.
Thanks for the laughs tonight :)
And eww to The Situation, what a nightmare!!
I didn't think of the correlation until now but I guess my weird dreams started after I was pregnant for the first time. I crack my husband up with the stuff that I dream. The weirdest thing of all is that I can remember them all.
Ronnie's answer sounds exactly like what Jacob would say. Haha! I don't know if I could turn Sitch away if he begged. Ewwww! Yes I could! Yes I could! But he does have a nice body. I feel like I haven't had a dream in a long time. I must not be getting good enough sleep. And mine are always about ex-boyfriends or someone I knew in college. Creepy. Ska band!!! My dream is more Courtney Love from '90s Hole, but I totally get it. I'll just call you Monique!
I think he's sooo ugly every time I see his face!! I actually feel bad for him, but then I remember he's making a ridiculous amount of money and I am not and then I stop haha! And where has good ska music gone?! I miss it!
Can't wait to see what else your nocturnal self is thinking up- sweet dreams!
Haha, funny dreams! I hate that feeling when something bad happens in a dream and you wake up all angry at the person that dream-wronged you for no real life reason. You just can't shake being mad even though you know it was just a dream. The mind is weird.
LOL! Maybe you finally succumbed to The Situation's advances which is why Ronnie found that new girl! And I would say if you did that might make grounds for an unfit mother case haha. Crazy! I love when you wake up and remember a "WTF" dream.
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